Racism and Mental Heath : Poem, Choke

There’s no love here.

no warmth,

no justice,

no peace

only performance.

words that are meaningless

and uttered too late

promises to do better

to be better

promises long made

and seldom ever kept

new policies and outlooks

new trends to play with

the guilt,

it suffocates us all

even those who say it doesn’t

those who deny its existence

they feel it too.

how could they not

the screams keep me awake

(are they mine?)

I don’t remember what sleep feels like.

who could sleep through this

I can feel it

the tension in my bones

in our bones

the fear

buried deep in my heart

in our hearts

the pain

the anguish

the powerlessness of it all

it washes over me

over us

paralysing

terrifying

how exhausting it is,

to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders

survival kicks in

(hasn’t it always)

hope appears in her godly form

her radiance only seen through transfixed eyes

she courses through our veins

the hope

our hope

that a change will come

that the world won’t chew us up and spit us out

like it has always done

let it try -

it will choke on me.